this day is full of emotional stress.. and physical too..
after one year of rest, here i go again engaging to the one i really love - SPORTS!
i joined an organization in UP (UP Football Club Sikad), which is obviously all about soccer. anyone's invited whether you're good at it or not or you're just curious on how to play the game. even non-UP students can join this org so if anyone's interested, just contact me. =)
anyway, i really need this.. i'm up to so many stress that i forgot that back in my early days, i turn to sports (tiring myself..) when i feel frustrated. it usually helps me because i drain all my efforts in this sport and i end up relieved emotionally and sickly tired, which greatly helps because all i can think of is how tired i am..
day by day, i'm trying to use my time wisely in helping myself recover. and believe me, there is progress. although, there will always be instances that i still recall and wish i can still have it. but i owe myself peace because i believe i did the best i can..
there are always two roads to choose from whenever i attempt to make a decision. yeah, sounds weird right? it should be two roads/choices BEFORE making a decision.. but for my sake, i still need to choose AFTER i decide..
one is evil and one is angelic.. both of which still benefits me.. right now, i try to think for myself on what good will the outcome produce for me.
although, i shift regularly..
i'm still human! i can't change myself in just a snap!
still, i end up talking or dramatyzing by myself..
i don't know what i really want now.. although wanting is different from needing.. but the need is continually pushing me away..
